Smallest at the Parade

She was
smallest
my allest
sweetest
neatest
eating a
chocolate bar
and seated
defeated
dejected
bottom on the curb
feet in the dust
and just
when I called
standing
handing
me
the wrapper.

Indulgent Moaning of a Wobegone Woman

There is a definite absence here, 

and it is odd when I try to think about it logically because when  you were last here you were often out with your friends and even took to sleeping in the basement rather than your room to watch late night TV. 

It shouldn’t seem so odd, but it does because your very existence and your entire life reside in another zip code, and they are forever removed from my immediate, grasp, control, but most poignantly, responsibility. 

I can only think of your baby’s face and your feet before they reached the edge of the couch. 

I can only see you singing with Barney about the Noble Duke of York and playing Robin Hood while you ran around wielding your red drumstick because I wouldn’t buy you any toy weapons.

 I miss your presence here because now you have become a man. 

And even though I love that man…I am proud of that man, and he will always be my son, 

he will never be my baby 

again. 

Donuts

Tip of the tongue

Soft

Sweet

Light

Mmmm

Explode in

Chewed bits

Airy, fresh

Still

Cold stares

Too much

Lips covered

Sugar on

Table

Residue on lips

One more

Licked

Clean

Almost

Soft

Chewed bits

Fill up cheeks

Flat taste

Dead tongue
straight to the hips

Today

Been so long
since I
held you

in my heart
and squeezed
a thought
that mattered
teased a wish
that might
please
my soul

been so long
since I
felt you

in my hand
and used
a song
that I heard
fused a dream
with the
muse
in my brain

been so long
since I
knew you

in my mind
and pulled
out the truth
to be
lulled by faith
to the
dullness
of my days

Been so long
until today.

My Little Friend

Her voice wavered as she

cried out to me.

It grabbed me and

 led me across

the smoky threshold.

Pulling my shirt over my

mouth I inched my

way toward her cries.

It was too dark to see

and the wood cracked and hissed .

Relief washed over me as I

reached a room with a

pink sticker on the door

And heard a faint

whimper.

She sat beneath

The desk and I knelt

and easily lifted

her tiny form.

The way out was hot

And I could feel sweat dripping

As I walked through

And back out

Into a day filled

With sunshine

I passed her to

The paramedics

And drank

And drank

And turned to see

As the roof collapsed.

Today they said my name

and the mother she

stepped forward to hug

Me

As they presented me with

A plaque of honor

“You’re a hero.”

They said in quiet awe.

But I

Can only sit on this stool and

Stare at this drink

And remember her cry

I am no hero

A hero saves a life

And  my little friend,she

died anyway.

Swimming toward Forever

In one white hot
moment
of deciding on forever
the real journey would begin
and your lips would
draw me
close
and keep me
coming back
to taste more dreams
and hear
more truth
than
I knew existed

In one white hot
moment
of affirmation
without hesitation
I would jump
in

Both feet now
wet with
devotion
I walk through
the shallows
ready to swim
when it gets
deep

Stepping Out

I wear this invisibility cloak

Nearly everywhere I go.

And though I don’t remember

Choosing it

Or creating it,

There is no question that

It is mine and defines

my style.

Adrift in a sea of irrelevance,

I tried to find

matching shoes

but

the sparkle of sequence

on my heels

 could not be  

 masked

beneath the folds of

my cloak.

So, though I stood

in the corner

when you

walked by

and

thought certainly

I’d remain as always, unseen,

you stopped

and looked down

long enough to hear

my whisper.

“See me.”

I begged.

And you smiled

and reached out your

hand to me.

So, I stepped from the corner

and let my cloak

fall away.