Part One: Contemplation

Through the window she could see the dark clouds blowing across the black sky. The weather was changing quickly. Stepping out into the dark yard she slipped on the stairs and pulled the leash back to grab the rail. The pup gave a small whine."Sorry, I was falling." She whispered as she leaned down to pet his fur. The wet grass soaked through her pant legs and she wished she had not already donned her pajamas. He nosed around the yard; everything seemed to be interesting to her charge. She let him pull,losing herself in thoughts of the evening.

She had so hoped to get the job, but now it was clear that the opportunity was lost to her. Putting in the time was more important than she'd realized,and she hadn't gone to any of the university social events, preferring to hide out at home when the evenings came. It didn't matter that she was the most skilled clinician. She could hear the cars in the distance, but her pet was oblivious, digging in the dirt after some hidden creature. If life could be so easy that the things she wanted lay just beneath the surface, she would drop to her knees and dig beside him. But her answers were not to be found so easily. She had hoped to be further along by now. In a position to pay back some of her loans, but that prospect had slipped through her fingers again. Sighing she tugged on the little schnauzer and turned toward the house. She gasped and took a step backward, now seeing the figure who had been standing behind her.

"How long have you been there, Stephen?"

"I just came...I rang your bell, but you didn't answer."

"That usually means that someone is not home. It is quite late, perhaps this could wait until after class tomorrow?" He moved toward her slowly,kneeling down and offering his hand to Skip to smell. The dog licked his fingers and sat back on his haunches, watching the two.

"I just had a quick question for you. I thought you'd be at the department dinner tonight." She noticed now that he was wearing a dark suit and tie. She'd never seen him dressed formally. It suited him. He was a blue blood after all, as were most of her students.

"I have office hours tomorrow at 1:30. That would be the appropriate time to ask me any questions you might have. I do not entertain students in my home...or my backyard."

"I understand." He rose to his feet, standing directly before her, and she took another step back, though Skip stayed rooted at his feet gazing up at him in admiration. " I'll see you then." He turned to leave.

"What is the question?"

"What?" Stephen turned back toward her. She cursed her impulsivity. She should have let him leave, but the curiosity had gotten the better of her.

"Yes, the one question that was so important that you somehow felt it warranted coming to my home at this time of the evening." He shrugged.

"I wondered why you weren't at the dinner." He gave Skip another rub between his ears. "I went thinking that you would be there. It was boring as hell."

She laughed. "And that should tell you why I wasn't there. It is bad enough making small talk with my colleagues when I have to, but I simply cannot stand to sit around eating ridicuous food and listening to pompous self-congratulatory speeches. You better get used to it though, if you want to go anywhere in this field."

"Wanna go for a drive with me." She gasped and pushed past him toward the house pulling poor Skip along.

"I will see you in class, Stephen." She retreated through the back door and slammed it shut. He paused for a moment, and walked back around the house. She let Skip off his leash and moved swiftly through the house to look out the front window. Stephen was climbing into his Subaru. She opened the front door a crack and peaked out. His engine idled for a moment and then he drove off slowly.

She stepped out onto the porch. The clouds had cleared and the sky was filled with brilliant starlight. Searching for constellations, she wondered what might have happened on that drive.

After Sleeping

Something lurks
close enough
that the uneven rhythm
of its ragged breath
awakens her
staring into
the darkened shadows
beside the worn out armchair
there is a shift
its presence made known
by a faint rustle
an oily odor
fills nostrils
she tries to hide
in her sleeping self
but he knows
she has stopped
breathing

Music Man

My earliest memories of you
are filled with song
a tinkling of notes
and a soft dry voice

Always loving words
from your lips
to my young ears
starving for their nourishing
warmth

Your soft honey love
will stay with me
even as the chimes
ring the last note

I know the lyrics
they are mine now
the lingering melody
stays in the air

I may raise my lips
and wail this night
but tomorrow
I will lift my voice
with the song
you gave to me

ice cold November waters

How can I drown
when I know how to swim
when I wear my life vest despite
it's lack of fashionable
integrity
paralyzing integrity
stops me from climbing to the roof
and screaming invectives
from tearing up the roofing with
bare hands and
throwing down the
shingles on
pedestrians